i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
