I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
