Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
In America we eat man semen.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
