I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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