You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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