Your face is a jimmy john
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
