Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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