omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
