hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
