Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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