Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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