I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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