Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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