i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
