i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
