this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
