We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
