he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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