Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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