yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
