I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I need to calm my uterus...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
