she woke up with a sticky ear
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
worst night to have a conscience
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
