i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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