help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
