My liver just broke up with me...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
