im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
