someone threw a dead crab at me
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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