I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
