Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
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