Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
