either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
