Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
