Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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