I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
