He felt like a one man threesome
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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