She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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