I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So squirting runs in the family.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How does it feel to date your dad?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
