I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
