so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
