dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
