woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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