her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
