the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
