Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am midnight drunk by noon
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
