Porn is love you can see.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
