I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
