when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
