Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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