i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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