i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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