Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
