My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
