So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
