At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
